What To Expect From ‘Yeezus II’

Prior to the release of his 808′s & Heartbreak album, Kanye threw a party in a giant warehouse space filled with nude women. For the release of Yeezus II, Kanye will celebrate by throwing an Eyes Wide Shut-esque party filled with naked men, naked women and naked animals. There will be no rules, but plenty of fornicating while listening to Ye’s new prog-punk album.

As a marketing campaign for the first Yeezus, Kanye projected his face onto buildings across the world while playing his new single “New Slaves.” For Yeezus II, Kanye will project his face onto the moon (he initially planned to project it onto the sun, but that didn’t work out) while blasting his forthcoming single “New Babes.”

If the moon-projection thing doesn’t work out, the video for the album’s second single “On The Third Day There Was Yeezus” will be shown in 12 secret caves around the world. These cave showings will be invite-only.

Before the release of Kanye’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, he made a short film called Runaway, a thirty-minute epic about a relationship with a bird. For Yeezus II, Kanye will make a feature-length buddy comedy starring himself and Kobe Bryant, playing Jesus and Judas. By the end of the film, the friends-turned-enemies decide to just forget their quarrel and go to Paris for some damn croissants.

Kanye famously decided not to release a promotional single or music video before the release of Yeezus, but for Yeezus II Kanye will make music videos for every song on his new album, as well as music videos for other artists he likes, like Gucci Mane and Rick Ross.

Kanye has always been a giver, so for every lucky fan who buys Yeezus II in stores, they’ll get a special edition hand-written King Yeezy Holy Bible. The book will be filled with anecdotes from Yeezy as well as a New-New Testament about how to dress fresher.

In an expert display of minimalism, the cover of Kanye’s first Yeezus was not a cover at all, it was just a plastic jewel case. For Yeezus II, the cover of the album will be the CD itself, and the packaging will be a small (recyclable) white paper bag.